THE STORY OF THE JEWISH DEFENSE LEAGUE Page 128
Chapter 4: Violence: Is This Any Way For a Nice Jewish Boy to Behave?
 
 
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128 The Story of the Jewish Defense League

bO.K. The way to get Forman off our backs is (takes a deep bbreath) to make him our rabbi.

b(There is a stunned silence in the room. All stare at Cole- bman with open mouths and glassy stares. Finally, the bsilence is broken.)

bA:aJ.B., I must be going crazy. I thought I heard you say bthat we should make Forman the rabbi of the temple.

bCOLEMAN:a(gloomily looking down at the table): That’s bright. That’s what I said.

b(Bedlam breaks out in the room. People begin to shout at bColeman. D turns purple and has to be restrained by two bothers.)

bCOLEMANa(leaps to his feet, shouting): All right, all right, bwill you all shut up? Let me explain.

bAs Forman was speaking my mind was racing a mile a bminute.

bHow the hell are we going to get this guy off our back? bAnd then it slowly dawned on me. He’s a good speaker. bHe has a deep voice; he’s tall and broad-shouldered—the bwomen will love him. If we make him our rabbi at $40,000 ba year with all the rest that goes with it, we can get him off bour backs and even help all the other temples out. After ball, no rabbi is going to go around threatening syn- bagogues.

bA:aBut J.B., he’s not even Jewish!

bCOLEMAN:aI know that George, I know that. We can tell bthe press that this is our contribution to ecumenism in the bworld.

bC:a(unhappily): Yes, J.B., but he doesn’t know anything babout Judaism.

bD:a(sarcastically): What’s the difference?

bB:aBut what about Rabbi Eisenkopp? We have a con- btract with him and he’s such a nice guy.

bCOLEMAN:aI thought about that. We’ll make him rabbi bemeritus and let him keep his honorary membership in bthe golf club. He’ll understand. Heck, he’s made enough bspeeches on behalf of Forman.

b(The board sits quietly, considering the idea. They look up bat each other. All nod, gloomily.)

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THE STORY OF THE JEWISH DEFENSE LEAGUE Page 128
Chapter 4: Violence: Is This Any Way For a Nice Jewish Boy to Behave?